Just another day in “infamy.” Just another day for tears.

I kept telling people this was going to be a messed up year.  I just felt it. Don’t tell me how I knew.  I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. It just didn’t feel right. Halfway into the year, following the advice of multiple friends, I watched less news. As I watched the Covid19 pandemic galloped around the world, it seems hopeless, but, old journalists can’t hide for long. I still hadn’t watched the entire video that exposed the killing of a man for no reason than hatred, and a lack of humanity. Even worse are those who stand on the side and do nothing but co-sign it happening.

I knew the police had murdered another Black man in the street. However, I didn’t watch the video. And I didn’t want to. I knew the effect it would have on me. It would provoke another day of tears, nausea, anger, and hopelessness. Black people aren’t safe here. Being stuck at home isn’t new to me. That’s been my story for years. But, experiencing another Black person after another being killed in the streets by police or vigilantes has got me dripping CBD (Cannabidiol (CBD) under my tongue every night.

Dr. Steven Chung heads up the Banner Neuroscience Institute in Phoenix has been my neurologist for years. His research focuses on therapeutic intervention for patients with refractory epilepsy. Well, that’s was me until I had my amygdalohippocampectomy on May 7th, 2014. I asked Dr. Chung if it was ok for me to take it.   Cannabidiol, to treat epilepsy, has some scientific evidence to support it.   He questioned the dosage. “1200 mg/1fl Oz,”, I replied. He countered that amount wasn’t large enough to hurt me.”I think it relaxes me,” I said, “but who knows it could just be all in my head. And, that along with listening to the calming sounds of the ocean, rivers, white noise, city traffic, and fans blocks the buzzing in my ear, calms me down.”

Upcoming Library of Congress Entry.  

But, I knew to watch that video would render the CBD useless.  It wouldn’t be enough to calm me after I watched another Black man/child/woman butchered. Eventually, I did watch it and swore I heard Floyd’s neck crack. I like the protesters that took to the streets worldwide experienced the never-ending story of the lynching of African-Americans in America.

Memorial Day, May 25, 2020, a date which will live in infamy the United States of America suddenly and deliberately murdered another Black man in the street.

I woke up feeling nauseous that morning. My daily text from my dear friend was urgent. Something like, “Asata, did you watch the news yet?” Nope, I typed. “Then don’t,” she responded. I trust her. We met when I was 18, and we’ve maintained our sisterly relationship since. She lives in Washington DC reads prolifically and stays up on what’s going on politically.

We have a lot in common besides being born days apart. We’re both Aquarians and grew up during the ’60s when the district was primarily Black. Last time I was there, I was dodging younger whiter people walking dogs on crowded sidewalks near a 4-way Mainstreet with Starbuck’s on the corners.

“The day after George Floyd’s death, the NY Times reported that, “the Police Department (in Minneapolis) fired all four of the officers in the episode. On May 29, the Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman announced third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter charges against Derek Chauvin.” Chauvin, who is white, kept his knee on Floyd’s neck for eight minutes and 46 seconds and didn’t remove his knee even after the man lost consciousness, and for a full minute after paramedics arrived at the scene.

George S. Floyd Lynched by Minneapolis police.

What has changed? White identity is grounded in the belief that whites are inherently superior to black people. It still exists. So what’s the problem with the killing of another Black woman, man or child?

On June 3, Hennepin County prosecutors added a more serious second-degree murder charge against Chauvin and also charged each of the three other former officers — Thomas Lane, J. Alexander Kueng, and Tou Thao — with aiding and abetting second-degree murder. Those other police officers stood, helped, and watched and did nothing to stop that murder. The country blew up. The towns around the world followed. Downtown Phoenix, tear gas, rubber bullets, peaceful protesters, and those who decided to act a fool left graffiti on municipal buildings, damaged police and other cars, busted out windows, and lit fires.

Meanwhile, the anti-lynching bill stalled in Congress. More drama on a bill that already passed the house years ago.  The pent frustration, and anger. You’ve got a history of racism, the rolling back of civil rights, unequal treatment on every societal front. You’ve also got people taking a stand against the continual almost daily now, killing of Black men and women. You’ve also got the virus that is also discriminating against Black folks. How cruel is that? Nothing to do with genetics. Everything to do with the conditions Black people live under.

It’s all the right ingredients for a pot on the stove to bubble over.  Set it on high. Walk away, and the pot will undoubtedly boil over, or after all, the liquid is gone start a fire. So young people take to the streets and hopefully move things along. Some are wearing masks despite a pandemic.  It’s a battle to the death.  It’s back to the ’60s and 70’all over again. I am so proud of them

Since Jan. 1, 2015, 1,252 black people have been shot and killed by police, according to The Washington Post’s database tracking police shootings; that doesn’t even include those who died in police custody or were killed using other methods.

In a report by KPBS, they listed the names of black folks killed by the police since Eric Garner’s death in 2014. “They wanted to learn more about each person’s final moments before the police ended their lives.”

 

Eric Garner had just broken up a fight, according to witness testimony.

Ezell Ford was walking in his neighborhood.

Michelle Cusseaux was changing the lock on her home’s door when police arrived to take her to a mental health facility.

Tanisha Anderson was having a bad mental health episode, and her brother called 911.

Tamir Rice was playing in a park.

Natasha McKenna was having a schizophrenic episode when she was tazed in Fairfax, Va.

Walter Scott was going to an auto-parts store.

Bettie Jones answered the door to let Chicago police officers in to help her upstairs neighbor, who had called 911 to resolve a domestic dispute.

Philando Castile was driving home from dinner with his girlfriend.

Botham Jean was eating ice cream in his living room in Dallas.

Atatiana Jefferson was babysitting her nephew at home in Fort Worth, Texas.

Eric Reason was pulling into a parking spot at a local chicken and fish shop.

Dominique Clayton was sleeping in her bed.

Breonna Taylor was also asleep in her bed.

And George Floyd was at the grocery store.

JUST ADDED TO THE LIST

• Adrian Medearis, 48, was a former director for the Prairie View A&M Baptist Student Movement gospel choir and founder of God’s Anointed People, a contemporary gospel group. He also performed with choirs at other churches

• Rayshard Brooks, who fell asleep in a Wendy’s take-out line. Remembering that phrase my Mother used to say to me, “Dry up those tears & be a big girl.” I can’t Ma. It hurt too much.

Cell Phone Video Don’t Lie.

Black people will never be safe in America.

It seems like we’re right back where we started except with cell phones, big-screen TVs, and the internet: same issues, same stories, the same anger, same deep shame, and the same Republican oligarchy at the helm. There is no need to argue against it.  I’m not even having a hard time handling it.  Somehow I just knew it wasn’t from childhood.  I grew up in a country that just doesn’t get it right, and racism will never end in the United States.

 1 April 1949- 27 May 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGaoXAwl9kw

Here’s what happened to George Floyd.